Prickles of hair and black nails, Oh My!!

YEP!  The hair is starting to come back!  I tried to take a picture to post but all I could see was my splotchy bald head.. oh my!   So everyone will just have to take my word for it.  Scott says there is DARK hair coming in - maybe more dark then gray.  I think he is just being nice......

That is the good stuff that is happening.

But there is bad... Miserable stuff too

My LEGS!!  My ANKLES!!  My FEET!!  OH MY!!!  They are SO SWOLLEN, as in elephant size swollen.  I can not zip my boots up.  Mind you, I have lost 35 pounds since I bought those boots so there should not be a zipping problem.  The doctor has called in a little something for me at the pharmacy.  I do hope it helps as this is NOT fun.  Oh wait    cancer - fun.....

Then we have to consider my hands and feet - more accurately, my fingernails and toenails.  They are BLACK and ugly and they hurt.  The nails on five fingers are lifting and the nail on one toe.  It's difficult to button, zip, type, make the bed or pick up anything.  I'm actually quite miserable right now.  These darn nails could take months to grow out.  I can only hope they don't all lift up and fall off.

I'm fairly melancholy today.  Several weeks ago a friend passed away from Stage IV breast cancer.  When she was diagnosed she actually had a smaller tumor then I and was slated at Stage IIa (I'm IIb).  Everything else about our diagnosis was similar.  I realize that no two people have the same experience and results with cancer.  What helps one person might not help another so it is very humbling.  Another friend who is only 29 - said her final goodbyes in her blog on Dec. 26th.  These friends are part of an online support group for HER2 positive breast cancer that I belong too. We have never met but we share the same battle.  We communicate via messages giving support and hope to each other.  Sadly, those two women make numbers 5 and 6 that have passed away since October. 

January 1st marked THREE years since my stepson (Kim's son) Austin passed away from osteosarcoma cancer.  He was 21.  He didn't have time to get married.  He didn't have time to have any children.  He only had his drivers license for a couple of years before he had to stop driving because of the cancer.

I sure loved this kid~

  This is Austin the year his dad and I got married. 

 This is how I like to remember him~ 

I don't remember how many skateboards he broke!

 This is Austin a couple of months before he passed away.  

He had stopped chemo. It wasn't working

February 22nd will mark 15 years since my dad passed away from cancer.  He had melanoma and carcinoma.  His cancer metastasized into his organs. He was a genuinely kind and empathic man. He had a HUGE toothy grin.  He was very intelligent but never looked down on people.  He LOVED sports especially BYU football and basketball.  He had aisle seats in both venues that I still have today.  He had a cute little bald head.  I like to think that he would have liked my bald head -  not the reason why I'm bald.  We could have compared shines!! 

I miss my dad~

My mom and dad.

  My dad always looked the same~

This is my dad the year before he passed away.

BIG grin - always~

I'm not very happy with cancer - certainly not a fan! (who is, right?)   It has taken a lot of good people and things from me.

I wish there was a cure.