Chemo #4 - The Aches of It All

Chemo #4 - Round 1 - what a day!! So many people freaked me out about Chemo #3... which had it's moments, but #4 ... hmmm

 

SO excited to go.....

This is the chemo  routine.

Of course, you must first leave your house.  Thursday we had an exciting drive as it had snowed/rained and there were FIVE major accidents between Pleasant Grove and Orem.  (one highway patrol car was smashed)  Once we arrived alive the normal routine followed:

1. Give receptionist your name

2. Called back to the lab for the IV catheter - and blood sucking

I wondered what I was in for when the lab nurse took a running leap to stab the IV catheter into my port.  OUCH!!! I thought I'd pass out!  (the IV catheter was readjusted before chemo started)


3. Weighted!  (yuck) this must happen as your chemo cocktail is mixed  proportionately to your weight. So very depressing as apparently the chemo mix for Breast Cancer is the one CHEMO that women gain weight on....  OF COURSE!
 

This is Cameron. He is the one that ALWAYS weighs me and takes me to "the" room.

4. Sit in examine room waiting for doctor

5. Doc checks for any swelling in your lymph nodes and punches around your organs.  Checks blood results.  If everything is a "go" then...

6. Stampede into the chemo room to get your favorite chair

7. Sit and wait for your chemo cocktail.  (this wait has been close to an hour at times depending on the number of people showing up at that time)

8. Chemo cocktail hooked up...  and we're off.

 
9. We all sleep - well, I sleep, Scott watches movies or plays games on his iPad.

10. After hours of infusion .........

 

               we are freed!!

Getting ready to be unhooked from the catheter

Leaving is a challenge.  My body has been dumped full of fluids.  My legs and arms feel so heavy.  I feel like I am in a mason jar with all this water pressure pushing down on me. Very uncomfortable.  No spring in my step as I leave the building!

The next  day I go back to the doctor's office and receive a shot of Neulasta which is to toughen up your white blood cells.  Chemo really kicks the crap out of those little cells.  Side effects for Neulasta is generally deep body aches.  So I immediately take an Aleve and a Claritin, which seems odd, but this combo seems to help... a little.

I generally don't feel to awful until about 12 - 24 hours after chemo.  About 8 Friday night I was nauseous... not a fun way to go to bed.  The Zofran helps but it's still there.  My body started aching and by Saturday morning everywhere on my body (especially my neck??) is tender and aches. Nausea is still happening even after the pill.  Crackers are just not making it!

I'm hoping by Sunday evening I'll feel better so I can go to work on Monday. I haven't been into the office for almost 2 weeks as on top of everything else... I've had a cold and sore throat.  Ahhh the joys of having a compromised immune system! 

BUT - I'm doing good! Side effects could be so much worse.  Scott takes good care of me, my kids call and those close take care of me and my wonderful neighbors are serving up some delicious meals.  Is it crazy for me to feel blessed when I have cancer?  Not crazy at all!!

No Cancer Tonight...

Thursday, October 18th, I had my grandkids over for the second annual 'grandma Jeri's Halloween party'.  I hadn't been feeling very good that week BUT I really want to do/be normal as much as possible.  Chemo #4 is scheduled for the 25th so my time was limited when to have my party.

IT WAS AWESOME!

Randy and Jenni and Lynn brought their kids over.  After the party Jenni mentioned that as she was driving home - the thought hit her that she hadn't thought of cancer once that evening. Me NEITHER! It's difficult to "forget" about cancer when looking at me brings forth reality.  So it is so incredible when, during these days of highs and lows, there are a few moments of normalcy.  It's hopeful! 

Here are some pictures from our evening of fun!

Newlyweds and Black Widow

as the welcoming committee

 Black Widow, Ninja and Zombie

Black Widow holding the Butterfly (Lennon)

Ninja (Max) Zombie (Hank) holding Mini Monster (Sam) 

Big Zombie (Colby)

and the mean looking Mugger (Dyson)

I'm not sure Lennon liked THIS wig...

Black Widow leading her guests to the  dungeon

One of 10 games

Halloween version of Twister

 Fortune Telling

(they will all make good money so they 

can take care of their grandma)

Ninja (Max) won most of the games

(picking out the prize for everyone)

GREAT face paint!!

Actually a little "scared" of this mugger  L0L

 Monster face greeted the guests to the dungeon

It was such a fun evening.  It was so good to be NORMAL for a couple of hours.

H A P P Y   H A L L O W E E N ! ! !

No One Fights Alone!!

I have a wristband that says "No One Fights Alone".  This couldn't be more true in my case.  This past week I have seen so much support again from wonderful family and friends.

Earlier this week I ran into my good friend, Colette.  She was with several of her work friends who she introduced.  They ALL hugged me, told me how they are praying for me and that they read my blog.  My gosh... I didn't know these lovely women but they are fighting for me!

Also this week, was 'crazy hair day' at the elementary school that my grandkids attend.  Hank (who is 7) wanted his mom to make a "pink ribbon" design on the back of his head because of grandma Jeri.  How sweet!!  Hank (and all my family) is fighting with me!!

 

Tuesday I was laying on the downstairs couch when Scott got home from work (still wasn't feeling good).  He gave me a package from Amazon.  I opened it and did not recognize anything I had ordered.  I got a little nervous wondering if I was doing insane ordering  while on my nausea medicine.  The package held a TURKEY hat.  I found out later that evening that my sister Sheryl had decided that I needed some crazy hats to cheer me up on difficult days.  I received a different hat for the next 3 days.  They definitely made me laugh! She is fighting for me!

Day 1 - Turkey Hat

Day 2 - Nemo Hat

Day 3 - Moose Hat (Scott's fav)

Day 4 - Crab hat (my fav)

Saturday, October 13 - 2012, was the 'Making Strides Against Breast Cancer' walk held at Liberty Park in SLC. Weeks ago, Jenni decided she wanted to put a team together and "honor" me for the walk.  She posted it on FaceBook and kept reminding people to join our team and/or donate.  Our team reached it's goal of $1000 thanks to so many people (some I didn't know!) that donated.  A great group of family and friends (wait - aren't family members friends and so many friends feel like family?) showed up to Libery Park to walk with me. Friends and family that couldn't come sent messages via text, email and FaceBook in support.  All of these wonderful people are fighting for and with me!!

I can not express how humbled and touched I felt. There were a lot of women there that have been a "survivor" for many years.  I only saw one other woman without hair.  I might have been one of a small number going through treatment that walked but I'm so glad I did!

The organizers gave me a survivor ribbon.  I told them I hadn't survived it yet... was trying to survive.  The gal mentioned that once you are diagnosed you are a survivor and you continue to fight.  I was so emotional before, during and after the walk.

My team "Walkers for Knockers" at Liberty Park 10/13/2012

Jenni and I

Randy, Max, Annie, Me, Scott, Sam and Hank (love the pink hair, boys!)

 

Owen, Rusty and Collette - supporting long distance from Wisconsin

Rick - supporting long distance from Portland

Anna (Rick's girlfriend) supporting long distance from California

My brother Alan left Las Vegas at 1 am Saturday morning and drove up here with his wife and 2 kids to walk with me.  His other kids came also.

Daniel, Catherine, Scott, me, Alan, Kayti, Pam, Cale, Nicki

Alan and Pam

Max and Sam

Hank and Colby

Lennon

Jamie and her boyfriend Dave

My 'soul' sister Sandy came from New Harmony and her daughter and granddaughter came from St. George to walk.

Liz, me, Sandy, Addie

Jamie, me, my friend Mark, Jayden

My friend Heidi and her son Garrett

Jenni, Brandy, Sandy and Colby

Rosanne (yellow jacket).  Her and Lynn Sr. gave me a beautiful blanket that morning!

Jenni, me and Meisha

Jenni, me and Lisa

Jenni's awesome friends - Lisa, Tiffany and Mr. Biff  : )

A crazy thing happened... Randy, Max, Sam, Jayden and I were bringing up the rear of our group.  When we were almost to the entrance back into the park... MY TEAM starting chanting "Jeri Jeri Jeri..."  oh my gosh... TEARS!! Another team walking by us joined in! Such an awesome experience with such wonderful people!!

Waving to my chanting team!

 

Finished!!!  I made it~

Randy giving me a hug at the end of the walk

 I, once again, feel so blessed and fortunate to have so many people in my corner fighting with me!  I read in a book (that another friend gave me) a comment that stated when you are in a life threatening battle - you will feel and know more love then ever before. This is certainly true in my case.  I know that I have so many people here, loved ones who have passed and my Heavenly Father who are in my corner.

I know that I DO NOT FIGHT ALONE.

Round 1 Chemo #3 - survival mode

DANG!  I guess I really am sick.  I am not a "good" sick person.  I've never followed the "rules" of sickness by staying in bed and letting others take care of me.  I AM the caregiver.  That is my role.  But now.....

I keep playing "head games" with myself.  I tell myself I'm not sick.  I tell family and friends that I'm doing good - I'm not sick.  I can keep up with my responsibilities at home and at work (even if I work from home more than before).

This last chemo has shown me that I am sick!  More nausea, more fatigue, more deep deep bone pain, more side effects.  I just want to survive this week.

Friday was chemo #3 day.  I woke up saying out loud "I do not want to do this".  Interesting thing about chemo.  About the time you feel good it's time to fill your body with poison again.  It's reasonable to assume that each treatment will result in worse side effects.  Seriously.. the more poison that is dumped into you body the worse a person is going to feel.  But.... dang it's miserable!

  This contraption goes into the port. The IV is then attached to that piece.  

I now consider myself officially in "survivor mode" in my treatment.  I just gotta through one more hour, one more day. 

We went to the cabin this weekend because I needed a change of scenery.  I was boring- (wait - I'm sick). I sat/slept in the recliner the entire time.  Thank you Scott for taking care of me... again.

 

Me sitting in the recliner at the cabin

view from cabin deck

I did snag a picture of a moose as we were leaving.  Nature is so calming and beautiful.  It helps me feel like I will get through this challenge and that there will be "un-sick" days ahead for me.
  

If you look closely you can see a Moose in the trees

 

Chipmunk and squirrel eating sunflower seeds on the railing

I am now halfway done with my first round of treatment.  Three more treatments - then I start round two.

Surviving is good!