Thoughts of the CHEMO impaired...

CHEMO brain... apparently that is a TRUE side effect from chemo.  Your mind starts SLIPPING and FORGETTING and jumping all over the place. (And I just thought that was age!) It's a recipe for disaster.

Disaster Recipe

1 snippet - brain of woman 50+

Cream together with:

 1 ounce (not pound)  post-menopausal woman

Throw in a DASH of Chemo

Stir briskly and with feeling

Results:  ONE chemo brain 

I start a sentence then forget what I was thinking. Ok - this happens to everyone but this is starting to happen MORE than normal. I will be reading some policy at work and can't ........ SHOOT what was I thinking just now??  anyway...EMAILS - I've been forgetting attachments and appointments that are listed on calendar.  I feel a little discombobulated and rumor has it that this will only get worse.  Now where was I going with this.......

Not all of my thoughts are 'out there' somewhere or forgotten.  Today, at work,  I chatted with my friend Jack.  Jack is a great guy.  He retired several years ago but comes in from time to time to help in areas of his expertise.  Jack is working through his second bout of cancer.  So we talk.  He asks how my chemo is going and I ask if his big mega shot of poison is helping.  We talk about rocks, grandkids and Scott (he and Scott are long time friends). 

Today as we were chatting, I had an interesting thought.  I said to Jack that those of us with cancer are kind of lucky.  We have a different outlook on life.. and death.  All of us will die, of course.  But most of us go through life thinking that death is somewhere 'out there' in the far off future.  Those of us with life threatening diseases deal with the possibility of our life ending any day.  We start to look at things and life and situations in general in a whole new light.  This is a blessing.  Appreciation of one's life and the people surrounding you is a gift. 

I'm starting to lose my sense of taste.  I know... people think that's a great way to lose weight. Well, THAT'S not happening!  It's a great way to GAIN weight as you try everything to find something you can taste.  My friend and neighbor Alisa brought me rolls tonight that she made along with homemade raspberry jam.  HEAVEN!!  I love the smell of baking rolls... but tonight I truly savored that smell as they were baking.  I'm hoping this is one thing I can taste.   

I can't remember my point in starting this blog.  Today I felt a strong appreciation for life in general and for my missing brain cells in particular.  Maybe that was my point.  Appreciate what I can in the here and now and have hope for things to come.  

p.s.  The rolls and jam were terrific!