Round 1 Chemo #3 - survival mode

DANG!  I guess I really am sick.  I am not a "good" sick person.  I've never followed the "rules" of sickness by staying in bed and letting others take care of me.  I AM the caregiver.  That is my role.  But now.....

I keep playing "head games" with myself.  I tell myself I'm not sick.  I tell family and friends that I'm doing good - I'm not sick.  I can keep up with my responsibilities at home and at work (even if I work from home more than before).

This last chemo has shown me that I am sick!  More nausea, more fatigue, more deep deep bone pain, more side effects.  I just want to survive this week.

Friday was chemo #3 day.  I woke up saying out loud "I do not want to do this".  Interesting thing about chemo.  About the time you feel good it's time to fill your body with poison again.  It's reasonable to assume that each treatment will result in worse side effects.  Seriously.. the more poison that is dumped into you body the worse a person is going to feel.  But.... dang it's miserable!

  This contraption goes into the port. The IV is then attached to that piece.  

I now consider myself officially in "survivor mode" in my treatment.  I just gotta through one more hour, one more day. 

We went to the cabin this weekend because I needed a change of scenery.  I was boring- (wait - I'm sick). I sat/slept in the recliner the entire time.  Thank you Scott for taking care of me... again.

 

Me sitting in the recliner at the cabin

view from cabin deck

I did snag a picture of a moose as we were leaving.  Nature is so calming and beautiful.  It helps me feel like I will get through this challenge and that there will be "un-sick" days ahead for me.
  

If you look closely you can see a Moose in the trees

 

Chipmunk and squirrel eating sunflower seeds on the railing

I am now halfway done with my first round of treatment.  Three more treatments - then I start round two.

Surviving is good!