Soooo I Guess It's Really Cancer....

Emotions run high as one year ago I underwent surgery for breast cancer.  One year ago - seems like a lifetime.  

Everyone has moved on.... accept maybe not me so much.  I read my post from last year.  I sat here, at my computer, and cried. Those memories, scars really, are still so fresh.  Reading how I felt brings all those emotions back to the surface.  It feels like putting salt on an open wound.  It's painful.

At my last doctor's appointment - I told him that I still didn't believe I have/had cancer.  I think someone made a big mistake.  (In psycho babble this is called denial)  He looked at me and just smiled.  Sooooo.... what exactly does that smile mean?

Anyway - HOORAY for me!  One rough, tough, difficult year bites the dust.  However, I will never truly celebrate success until this rotten, crappy, evil, life destroying cancer is cured.  

THEN we will party!!

Minutes before surgery - July 20, 2012