Wednesday (22nd) I went over to East Lawn Memorial to place the flowers on my parents graves for Memorial Day. I miss and think about them everyday but nothing compares to the way I have missed them (especially my mom) this past year. It has been one ROUGH year!
My cancer would have been extremely difficult for my 88 year old not-as-strong-as-she-use-to-be mom. So I'm glad "that" mom didn't have to see the pains and melt downs from my cancer. But my mom, the one who I can still picture sitting on the kitchen chair in her yellow kitchen talking on her green phone, would have been such a good support. Sometimes you just really need your mom. I have often thought of her in that yellow kitchen. There were times that I didn't think she could possibly understand me and then she would surprise me. That mom would have been checking on me, helping me, hugging me and telling me everything would be alright - during the times when I didn't think they would. The other night I picked up my phone to call her. When I realized what I was doing I just stared at the phone while tears filled my eyes. She has been gone 2 1/2 years.
My dad's calming presence would have given me peace when I needed it. His spiritual strength would have buoyed me up when I didn't want to continue. I picture my dad in his recliner, with the newspaper (of course) and his big smile on his face.
My mom and dad aren't with me physically but my loving memories and thoughts of them are with me daily, in my heart. I feel incredibly blessed that I had these two people as my parents. If they hadn't adopted me - I'm sure my life would have been much different.
As I placed the flowers on their graves I felt tears, once again, in my eyes.
I miss you both so much!
